If your relationship is so bad that it has landed in divorce court, why would you want to stop your divorce? We all know that relationships are never perfect. Some may seem like they are but there are always little things that creep in and cause trouble. If these little things get big enough then divorce is usually the only option left.
But, if you want to stop your divorce and try to fix your relationship then more power to you. You will need it. If you found yourselves right at the brink then you are undoubtedly in need of counseling to put things back together. Do not think you can do this yourself. Get the help you need and get it soon. This is the only way you will be able to work through all the pain and anger that has built up over the past few months or even years.
A good counselor can help you both learn new and much more effective communication techniques. More effective communication techniques can lead to more understanding of each other's faults and foibles. More understanding can lead to resolution of hurt feelings and the beginning of trust and respect returning to your relationship. When trust and respect are restored then anything is possible in your relationship.
Before you start to see a counselor take some time to write down issues you think need to be worked on. Encourage your spouse to do the same. If they refuse, do it anyway and write down that one too. If the marriage is to be saved then both of you have to give it 100% and make each other a priority.
Be careful though, not to put the full blame for the problems in the relationship all on one of you. It takes two to make or break a relationship. Some people may argue that it only takes one person to ruin a relationship but if you think about it when the problems get big if you both do not address them then the relationship is in deep trouble.
The counselor you choose can act as a neutral third party to help you wade through all the crap that has paralyzed you both for so long. The counselor can help keep the lines of communication open and keep things moving forward and also keep the fighting to a minimum.
The longer you wait, the closer to divorce you will get and the harder it will be to pull it all back from the edge of disaster. The sooner you both admit that you do still love each other enough to want to stay together but realize that it will take an enormous amount of love, patience and time to fix your relationship, the better off you will be.
Just do not expect it to happen overnight. It didn't get bad overnight and you won't be able to fix it that quickly either. All of this is necessary if you really want to stop your divorce.
No comments:
Post a Comment