Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Can You Live In A Wife Led Relationship




What is a wife led relationship? Sure there may be times when you simply agree to your wife's decisions (often to stop her nagging) but that isn't typically what is referred to as a wife led relationship. This type of relationship is more when the wife becomes the dominant partner and the husband is completely submissive.





There are different degrees to wife led relationships with some having the wife only mildly dominant and perhaps only in certain circumstances. Then there are the more severe situations when the man is like a slave to the woman and does everything she requests. The man will make no decisions whatsoever regarding anything in the relationship or the home; it will all be done by the woman. The man will basically be a slave to the woman. They will appear reasonably normal in public but you will still find that the woman is making the decisions.





Some men actually like being the submissive one in the relationship and may find themselves not being as submissive as they like because the wife isn't all that comfortable with it. In a lesser degree of being submissive a man may just hand over the major decision making to his wife but still have some control himself.





Although some women enjoy being the dominant party, some women will find it very off putting, particularly if you are asking her to be the fully dominant partner, which is what a true wife led relationship is. The man is a slave to the woman and will do everything for her.





The man will do all the chores, cleaning and cooking around the house and she may bark out orders to him and he will run and do them. Although she may want to help out around the house, men that like this type of relationship will want her to expect him to do it all. They enjoy being treated like a slave.





In a wife led relationship the woman has complete control over their sexual relationship also. The man will actually expect her to use sex as a reward for completing his chores or even as a punishment when he doesn't please her. If a woman does a chore in the home the man may be disappointed because he cannot do that chore himself and be rewarded for it.





If the wife is please with her husband’s performance with his chores then she will reward him by pleasing him sexually and this is what the man looks forward to. However, if she is not happy with her husband’s work around the home then she may deny him pleasure of his own while he has to please her and give her pleasure.





Some men will like the sexual side of a wife led relationship and even enjoy when pleasure is withheld as it makes it more exciting when they are rewarded next. Other men aren't as interested in the sexual enjoyment of a wife led relationship but just like the idea of the woman being the dominant partner and making the decisions.





If you think you would like to try a wife led relationship then certainly discuss the idea with your wife. She may be pleased to join in if you are offering to do more around the home but be prepared for her to treat you like a slave.





You can give it a test run and see how it goes and if you both enjoy it then you might continue to have an enjoyable wife led relationship.


Dating Beautiful Women - Can Be A Challenge




No doubt about it, dating is challenging. You have to get up the nerve to ask a woman out, then you have to figure out where to have the date, you have to be on your best behavior (what will you say and do?), and do it all in a way that comes across as confident and natural (no matter how you may be feeling on the inside). A lot of guys have an even harder time when it comes to dating beautiful women. But, as you will see, it doesn't have to be difficult.





Rule #1 is that you should never treat any woman as an object, and that includes pretty women. In other words, while you may be attracted to their physical appearance, you shouldn't think of them as a trophy or status symbol. Granted, other people will notice her beauty, and may look at you differently because of it, but that should never be your reason for wanting to go out with her.





A lot of beautiful women actually run into an interesting problem. Conventional wisdom says that pretty women shouldn't have any problem finding men that want to go out with them. But the reality is that a lot of them find men are afraid to approach them because of their beauty--the very thing that's suppose to get men flocking to them.





Understanding this can help you when dating beautiful women. They are, first and foremost, people too. Just be yourself and try not to treat her as though she is someone that is out of your league. Why? Because that's the other problem pretty women run into. Men overacting and laying the charm on extra heavy, all in the hopes that the woman will enjoy the extra attention. But a lot of the time pretty woman get tired of the phoniness, and ache to find a guy who will just be himself around her.





Now, let's make one thing perfectly clear. Treating them normal and being yourself doesn't mean you should go out of your way to be rude or to ignore her. You would be surprised at how many so-called "relationship experts" will tell you to be a jerk towards beautiful women. Sorry, but that just doesn't cut it! They are people; simple. Just don't play games and treat her as you want her to treat you.





Keep in mind that attractive women often feel that they are being hit on more than other women. So, when it comes to dating beautiful women, forget all of the clever pick up lines. Trust me, they have heard them before. Besides, the very fact that you're using a line shows her that you're trying too hard and that you're just like every other guy who has used a line on her.





Finally, be confident when dating beautiful women. Too many men feel like they're not worthy, but if she has agreed to a date or two, then it proves that she thinks you are indeed worthy, and that's what really counts.


Can You Save A Relationship After Infidelity-To Save Or Not To Save




If you have been unfaithful you may now be wondering if you can save a relationship after infidelity. It is possible to save a relationship after one partner has been unfaithful but it will require hard work. Both couples must be willing to work toward improving and saving the relationship. The partner who has been unfaithful needs to explain their reasons and why they are unhappy within the relationship and the partner who has been cheated on will need to find a way to forgive.





If you decide to go to counseling, one of the first questions you will be asked is whether you really feel that your relationship is worth saving. Although you have both agreed to seek counseling so assume that you both feel the relationship is worth the effort, but it is possible that one person may be agreeing to counseling just to please the other.





Quite often it is the partner who has had the affair that only agrees to go to counseling to please their partner. They agree to counseling because they are feeling guilty and feel that they owe it to their partner to do whatever it takes to save this relationship.





There are a lot of couples that find themselves in couple counseling faced with this situation - that the cheating partner is only there to please the other partner but in reality they aren't really sure that the relationship is worth saving. So it is important that both partners take a good look at the situation and be honest about whether they do want to work hard at saving the relationship.





One of the hardest things a couple will ever have to do is to heal a relationship that has broken as a result of infidelity. It is not a matter of saying you are sorry and that you'll never do it again; there is must more to it than that.





Firstly, the reason for the affair, or affairs, need to be given. Affairs may happen purely for sexual reasons and sometimes they may happen because a person is unhappy in their current relationship. You need to decide what the reason was for the infidelity so you can take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again.





If you can identify the reason then you have a much greater chance of healing a relationship after infidelity than if you can't. If you had an affair for sexual reasons then perhaps you need to work on your sex life as a couple. If you and your partner are not satisfying one another sexually then there are things that you can do to improve your sexual relations. It is better to work at improving your sex life with your partner than to go and just find a new partner to have an affair with.





If you are generally unhappy in the relationship then this needs to be addressed. There are many reasons why one can become unhappy in a relationship and it may depend on the reason as to whether you can resolve the issue or not. You need to discuss with your partner why you are unhappy so you can both work toward making things better. The only way to find happiness again is to have open communication and let each other know how you are feeling.





It can be helpful to talk about these things with a counselor so they can help you work through your feelings and problems together. They can also help to keep the conversation going and to stop a conversation if it is turning into one big argument. A counselor can help you to understand what the other person is saying and feeling.





It is difficult to fix a relationship after infidelity but it is possible. If your relationship is worth saving then you need to put in the effort to save it.


Should You Use Christian Marriage Counseling-Could Be Good For Some Couples




If you are a Christian and you find that your marriage is in trouble then you may want to consider using Christian marriage counseling. This service isn't for everyone and will depend on how deeply religious you are as to whether you will find it appropriate for your situation. Christian marriage counseling can make a big difference and may help to save your marriage.





There is the option of regular marriage counseling for anyone that is having difficulty with their marriage. This type of counseling is for anyone, regardless of religion, to use when they find their marriage is in trouble. This type of counseling will focus on any problems within the marriage including how the partners treat one another. Christian marriage counseling also focuses on these things but it also has an emphasis on prayer and turning to God to help you through this difficult time.





This type of counseling works really well for some people but it's not for everyone. There are many Christian couples who may not even benefit from this type of counseling, depending on both partners attitude toward religion, church and God.





Some Christians have such great faith in God that they will spend a lot of time praying, knowing that God will point them in the right direction and help them through tough times. Other people will not rely on God to fix everything for them but feel that God helps those who help themselves and they will pray for guidance but know that they must also make the effort to fix the problem. If a husband and wife have different views on such issues then Christian marriage counseling may actually give them more conflict.





If the counseling focuses on prayer and miracles then the partner that believes a person needs to put an effort in to make things happen may not be as happy with the counseling. If the counseling focuses on action and using prayer for guidance then the partner that wants a miracle through prayer may not be happy with it.





If your marriage is having trouble already the last thing you want to do is add more conflict. If the counseling does not use an approach that both partners are comfortable with then it is probably best to avoid it.





This is not to say you should avoid Christian marriage counseling, but you should find out what kind of approach it takes before deciding whether to go ahead with it or not. You can always go to one session to get a feel for what it's like and then make your decision. You should agree with each other that if one of you is not happy with the counseling because it goes against what you believe, that you do not continue with it.





Sometimes Christian marriage counseling can be old fashioned and work from the beliefs of the Old Testament of the Bible that give women little or no rights. This type of counseling will often put the blame of marriage problems onto the woman. Some religions still believe that women should be subservient to men just as they were in Biblical times. They believe the man only has a share in failure if he doesn't respect the woman or doesn't praise her enough for her service and obedience. If a counseling service is given with these beliefs then this can damage the woman's self esteem and quite possibly make her more resentful.





With both secular and Christian marriage counseling you really need to find out the focus of the counseling and you need to feel comfortable with how they work. If you aren't comfortable with the counseling then stop going and find another one that may suit you better and make you both comfortable to work through your problems.


Dating Service Women - Happens More Often




The image of a soldier standing valiantly to protect their home country is one that resonates with a lot of people. Of course, it's also true that most people will picture a man in the role of that soldier, but such thinking is simply behind the times in most countries. Even so, dating service women has a strong appeal to a lot of men, and for various reasons.





It wasn't all that long ago--in the bigger scope of things--that women in the military were more of a rarity. For that reason, more and more men are wondering about the ins and outs of dating service women. Here are some things to keep in mind if you would like to be romantically involved with a woman in uniform.





Going out with an enlisted woman comes with some challenges that aren't a problem when dating civilian women. Heck, they're not even thought of as "civilian women" by most people. Does that mean you shouldn't go out with a woman who is in the military? Not at all. While there may some differences, it's fairly easy to work around them when you're aware of them.





The main thing you should know is that active military personnel can be called up to serve anywhere around the world at a moment's notice. It may not be a pleasant thought, but as long as you know it's a real possibility, it will easier to deal with should it happen. If it does happen, then you need to be supportive of them. Remember, they will be dealing with a lot of things at the same time, so anything you can do to make that easier will be appreciated.





Even if she is never called up to serve oversees, she will probably be moved to a different military base every few years. If you want to be dating service women, then you need to keep that in mind. How serious of a relationship do you want? Will you be willing to move around with her? Will she want you to? What about having a long distance relationship?





Asking questions ahead of time is a good idea. If you plan on it being a casual relationship, that's fine, as long as both of you are aware of that. But if it's getting serious, then you should talk about the different things that could happen, and have a plan of action in place if any of them should happen.





Dating service women isn't entirely different from dating any other women, though. While the military is often associated with being tough, and masculine; most military women like to feel feminine. You can do a lot to help them feel that way if you are going out with them. Romance is the key. Take them out dancing, have a nice romantic dinner or buy them flowers every now and then. Anything you can do to make them feel special will be appreciated. Keeping all of these things in mind will you to have a much better time when you're seeing each other.


How To Handle A Scorpio Relationship




A Scorpio relationship is often one that is hot and fiery and some people have trouble knowing how to handle that. There will be a lot of passion and spontaneity in a Scorpio relationship. If you have started dating a Scorpio you should always expect the unexpected and you may want to find out a bit more about this sign so you know what might lie ahead.





A Scorpio relationship is absolutely amazing - when it is going well. But if a Scorpio relationship isn't going so good it can be absolutely awful. Scorpios tend to go to one extreme or the other; there is very little middle ground with this type of person.





Scorpio's tend to view the world with extreme views and find things will be either fantastic or devastating; there is very rarely an okay or something in the middle. Even the language used by a Scorpio is a little extreme, for example if it is raining outside they wouldn't likely just say 'it's raining outside', they are more likely to say something like 'it's raining cats and dogs' or 'it's pouring buckets'. They are usually quite descriptive rather than just giving the basic facts.





Scorpios have quite acute senses and this is why their behaviors and languages are often to an extreme. They are particularly acute in their view of other people and may notice little flaws that most people wouldn't even notice. They can also be quite critical of others but at the same time they are also likely to notice good points that other people wouldn't notice.





You may have to accept that you will be receiving criticism or compliments quite often if you are dating a Scorpio. They will see all your flaws and they will see all your good points. You might even find that they exaggerate both the good and bad points and make them seem even better or worse than they actually are.





If you do something really good then a Scorpio will react like it's the best thing anyone has ever done. If you do something wrong then they may blow that right out of proportion and overreact to the situation. Although there isn't much you can do about a Scorpio who bounces from one extreme to another, but when you are aware that they do that then you will expect it and not take it too seriously.





The tendency toward extremes can actually make a relationship great and very exciting. Your partner may treat you like you are the best thing since sliced bread and as long as the relationship is going well you will be treated like royalty.





But when something goes wrong in the relationship a Scorpio can make things very difficult and this is when dating a Scorpio becomes hard. But just as you enjoy the good extremes you will need to handle the bad extremes.





You might find with a Scorpio that they can change extremes very quickly. One minute they are happy and enjoying themselves and the next minute they are sad and depressed. The changes from one extreme to another can happen in the blink of an eye.





The Scorpio extremes will also affect your relationship intimately. When everything is going well you can have the best sex you've ever had with a Scorpio but then there will be times when it will be at the other end of the spectrum and be terrible.





You will find though that Scorpios do like a spicy sex life and will tend to be quite adventurous. This can be very beneficial for you if you are prepared to be a little adventurous yourself and be ready for the unexpected in the bedroom.





When you are in a Scorpio relationship you can be assured that the relationship will never be boring!


Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Different Stages Of A Relationship




When you first start dating someone all you think about if having fun, making a good impression and getting to know the person. The last thing on your mind is the future stages of a relationship. You go on the first date not even know if it will proceed to a second so you just concentrate on the moment and not on the future.





Once you move past the first date onto the second you can then think that possibly there may be a future with this person. Then when you move past the first few days and get to know the person a little more then you will get an idea whether you think you have a potential future with them. It's at this point that understanding the different stages of a relationship can help you see where you are and where you are heading and you will get to know what to expect next.





The first stage of a relationship is the honeymoon stage and this is the stage that many couples try to recapture at some point later in the relationship. Some people are addicted to the honeymoon stage and when it's over they will break up with their partner and move on to find someone else so they can have that honeymoon stage over and over again.





The honeymoon stage is exciting and fun. You tend to go out a lot together, complement each other, learn all about each other. You are two new people that have a lot to learn about one another and you will have a lot of fun doing so.





During the honeymoon stage you like everything about the other person and you think they can do no wrong. The honeymoon stage can last up to a year, a year full of fun, exciting moments that you will remember forever.





Then the honeymoon stage is over and the next stage may see a struggle for who has the most control or power in the relationship. During this power battle many relationships can fall apart, but those who get through this stage will come out strong. The things that you once thought were cute about your partner may now start to annoy you and you no longer find everything they do so perfect.





You may even try to change your partner to some extent to be more like what you really want in a partner, or vice versa. You will begin to notice each other's flaws and try to change them. To get through this stage of the relationship you need to recognize each other's flaws and accept them for what they are.





Then we have the understanding and acceptance stage. You will reach a point where you either accept the person for who they are or you realize this is not the person you want to be with. You have made it through the power struggle and you have resigned yourself to the fact that you cannot change the other person, so now you need to decide whether you can accept them as they are. If you can't accept the other person with their flaws then you may need to end the relationship and move on.





If you decide to end the relationship and move on you will find that a break up at this stage of the relationship is usually very amicable because there is no power struggle going on. You are simply deciding whether you are with the right person or not and you can accept that decision.





The last stage of the relationship is commitment. Once you realize that the person you are with does have flaws and you have given up trying to change them you can then accept them and be happy. Once you make that decision to understand the other person and accept them for who they are you can then commit to them. There may be times during the relationship that you revisit the power struggle stage for some reason, but if you have reached the commitment stage then you can usually work through the power struggle again.


I Lost Love-Can Be Pain Of The Past




I am not really sure that there is anything worse than when I lost love. It can be devastating to know you are the one who sabotaged the whole thing right from the get go. The only one who can learn to be a better partner in a relationship is you. No one can do it for you, but there is help out there that may make things a little easier. The biggest thing you need is the want to.





This may sound like the opposite of a cliche, but it is true, it's you and not them. The fact of the matter is that many people end a relationship too quickly and then later regret it. You may very well one day realize that walking out on the last person was the biggest mistake of your life. They might very well be the one that got away, and you might always regret it.





Do not make the mistake of assuming that they left because they didn't love you, it could have been that you didn't realize you truly loved them or even that you were afraid of the love you felt for them. Maybe you mistreated them in some way that they could not abide. I know this does little to ease your hurt but at least your pride can be a little less injured with this knowledge. Maybe you can start to understand why you do the things you do that make you say I lost love again.





Sometimes it is just not the right time. Sometimes you meet someone and one or the other of you is on the rebound or just not looking for love. Neither of you may realize it right away and when one of you does figure it out it can leave the other person feeling blindsided.





Sometimes we sabotage ourselves. We ignore obvious signs that the other person just isn't that into us. We pretend they are interested when we know in our heart that they are not. Make sure you are completely honest with yourself about the situation.





You also need to make sure that you are not sabotaging your relationships in other ways. Many people who don't feel good about themselves have a hard time believing that they are worthy of love. If they feel that way, they often push love away without even realizing it. Make sure that is not what you are doing. If it is though, you will eventually want to fix it. Everyone needs love, including you.





Try to honestly figure out what it is that you are doing that is causing you to push love away when you have it. You may be surprised to find that love really is within your grasp you just have to learn to let it happen in it's own time and not try to force it or just let it keep happening and stop trying to push it away.





If any one of these scenarios is the reason you left them it is possible that someday the two of you will come back together. But, do not wait for that day to come. Instead live your life and trust that if it was meant to be, it will be. That is the single hardest thing to do, but it is good advice.





This advice on love may help you sort things out and find the solution to your relationship issues. It is not always easy to face up to your flaws and make changes, but it can be done. Don't give up, realize that you are someone who is worthy of love and follow your heart. You will find I lost love is a thing of the past.


Dating A Woman With Kids- Is It For You




Dating on its own can make a person nervous but dating a woman with kids has a whole lot more involved. You don't only need to be concerned about whether the woman likes you but you also want to make an impression on her kids. The relationship is not just between you and the woman but it is also between you and her children.





Women without children will usually find it much easier to find dates than a single mom would. In fact, there are many men that will not date a woman because she has children and they don't want the issues that children can bring. Because single mom's can find it difficult to get a date they may be more eager to date someone that is interested in them. You do need to remember though that she needs to give her children the time and attention that they need which means she may have less time for dating. You will need to work around her children's needs as her kids will always be her first priority.





Many single mothers also work full time, and then of course they have the kid’s sports and other after school activities to attend, so there isn't often much time left for a social life. You may need to be prepared to see her when she can fit you in around her hectic schedule, don't expect to call her and tell her you are on your way around to take her out to dinner - your dates will need to be planned and scheduled in advance. It may be that she has one free night a week and this may be the only night that she can go out on a date with you.





A good mother won't want to bring a succession of men into her kid’s lives so she may not want to introduce you to her children until the relationship has developed a bit further. Her kids are her priority and the most important thing in the world to her and she doesn't want them getting hurt if a man was to come into their life and then leave. She will only want you to get to know her kids if she feels secure in your future together so you may be dating for six months or so before you get to meet the kids. Not all children will be happy with their mother dating someone other than their father so it could be a struggle for a little while to overcome such obstacles.





Even though these are not your children, if you intend to have a long term relationship with their mother then you need to get to know them well and build a good relationship with them. Younger children are reasonably easy to build a relationship with if you spend time playing with them or throwing the ball to them, while older children will be a little more difficult.





Most children will carry a hope that their parents will get back together and they may see you as a threat to that fantasy. There will be some resistance to you having a role in their mom's life. Then there are other obstacles like having authority over the children. Although they are not your children you will still need some authority over them. They may not like that at first and tell you that you are not their dad and so cannot tell them what to do. You should discuss authority with their mother as she needs to feel comfortable with your authority over her children too.





You may want to spend some time on weekends going on family outings and getting to know the children better. Going to the park, swimming pool or the beach can all help you to have a good time and enjoy yourself getting to know one another. Family outings can be more expensive than just dating a single woman without children.





The sexual relationship with a single mom can also be a bit tricky as the woman may be reluctant to have you staying over as she doesn't want to send the wrong message to her children. She may also find it difficult to stay over your place if she can't get anyone to look after her kids.





When dating a woman with kids you need to be prepared that it will be much different to dating a woman without kids. Her children are her priority and you need to understand and accept to have a good relationship with her. You also need to keep in mind that you may become quite attached to her children and if you breakup with this woman you don't only lose her, but you lose her children too, which can be quite heartbreaking.


Dating Tips For Women-Find The Right Person




Finding the right person to spend time with is often a tricky thing to do. The dating scene may, thanks to the internet, give us new options, but some things never change. With that in mind, here are some proven dating tips for women.





Dating Tips for Women #1 - Don't talk about your previous relationships.





Yes, you can talk about past flings eventually, but you shouldn't bring them up too soon. Generally speaking, the longer you wait, the better. Ignoring this tip is not a smart move. The reason it's such a problem is that the guy you are dating wants to talk about his favorite subject...him! He will consider any time you spend talking about your ex as a signal that you are less interested in him, and more interested in the men from your past. The purpose of dating is to get to know each other, so take some time to get to know the new guy in your life before you start talking about past loves.





Dating Tips for Women #2 - Just be yourself.





Dating makes people anxious. You want to give a good first impression, and you definitely don't want to say or do anything stupid. Unfortunately, a lot of women will overcompensate by pretending to be somebody they're not. The problem here is that the real you will come out sooner or later. Not only that, if a guy doesn't like you for who you are, then it's a waste of your time and his to keep stringing him along some phony story.





Dating Tips for Women #3 - Don't think about the future before it's time.





Not every guy is afraid of commitment, but they may be scared off if on your first date you start talking about marriage, having kids and your ticking biological clock. Even if he brings up the subject first, try to not give any definitive answer as he may be testing you. If you have a great date, then be careful to avoid fantasizing about how wonderful your future together is going to be. You may have dreamed about living the fairy tale since you were a young girl, but don't let that dream prevent you from taking advantage of reality.





Dating Tips for Women #4 - Take compliments gracefully.





Few things are more irritating to a guy than women who instantly downplay a compliment. It takes a lot of courage for a guy to say he likes your hair, so don't respond by telling him how awful you think your hair is. Not only will he feel like you are shooting him down, but hew will also think you have low self-esteem or just like to be contrary; none of these things will endear you to him.





While there are tons of other dating tips for women, these are a good start. If you follow them, you will greatly increase your odds of having a second date after enjoyable date.


Relationship Break Up- Steps that will help you feel better




A relationship break up is something no one ever wants to have to deal with. It's painful and if you were blindsided you feel like you have been kicked in the teeth. Even if you knew it was coming you still need time to learn to deal. Learning to be without that one person who has been around for so long takes time.





There are steps you can take to make yourself feel better. Right off the bat you might feel like you just want to be alone. Go ahead. Tell all your family and friends you are going to take a couple of days just to cry it out and think things over and make a plan. This step is crucial and can be good for you as long as it is only for a couple of days. Make a plan to have one of your friends call you or stop by after a couple of days to make sure everything is alright.





During your alone time, make a plan for your immediate future. A relationship break up is not the end of the world and you are going to need a plan. You know the two of you had not been getting along recently and now you wonder if there was something you could have done differently to keep the two of you together. This is normal. Try not to spend too much time on this though because the important thing now is learning to get on with your life.





During your couple of days of being alone there are some healthy things you can do to start making a new life for yourself. One of them is boxing up all of the things that remind you of your ex and putting them away in storage. All those things you accumulated together need to be gone. Give them all to him if you feel like it. If you can't bear to part with them because they are a part of your life then at least get them out of sight for right now.





Another healthy way to handle things is to write down how you feel about the whole thing. Buy yourself a journal or even just a notebook will do. Doing this will help put things into perspective and help you keep your feelings in order. This is very healing and you can refer back to it whenever you need to.





When your couple of days of solitude are over, call your best girlfriend and get out of the house for awhile. Go to lunch, or go shopping, or go to the park and just talk. The fresh air will do you good and so will making contact with your friend. She will have worried about you and having contact will put her mind at ease also.





After a relationship break up you will feel as though you are undesirable. Getting in touch with your friends after a couple of days will show you that they still love you and are there to support you when going through this terrible time in your life.


3 Tips For How To Deal With Jealousy




Jealousy in a relationship can cause many problems but some people just have no idea how to deal with jealousy. Some people can become irrationally jealous of their partner to the extent that they don't want to let them out of their site. They don't like their partner to even talk to or look at another woman or man or they become extremely jealous. The partner on the receiving end of this jealousy may become tired of it, although flattering at first; it can cause a relationship to fall apart.





Here are three tips to help you learn how to deal with jealousy before it tears your relationship apart.





First you have to learn not to let the jealousy get to you. I know this is much easier said than done but there are ways to work on this so it becomes easier. If you don't trust your partner then jealousy is quite a normal response but you need to ask yourself why you don't trust him.





Has he cheated on you before? Do you know for a fact that he has cheated or do you just suspect it? Has he given you reason to suspect he is cheating? You need to find out whether you have a valid reason for not trusting him.





If you have no real reason for not trusting him then ask yourself why it is that you don't trust him. Do you have a fear of him cheating? Have you had someone cheat on your before so you distrust men in general? If he has never done anything to lose your trust then you need to work through why you don't trust him and learn to trust him.





If you have a valid reason not to trust him, perhaps he has cheated on you before, then you need to think about whether you should still be with him. If you have forgiven him for cheating and agreed to take him back then it can be difficult to regain that trust, but if you want the relationship to work then you need to work at rebuilding trust.





If you have been trying for a long time to rebuild the trust but just can't get past his cheating then perhaps this relationship has run its course and you should move on.





Whether you trust your partner or not, if he flirts with other people do you think he is going to cheat? If not then why are you jealous?





Jealousy is really only a response to a threat but if that threat becomes real and your partner flirts with someone and then cheats on you with that person, then the threat goes beyond jealousy and into betrayal.





The second way to help you deal with jealousy is to learn for your partner to flirt all they want and not let it get to you. Try to view flirting as a natural response that people have toward other people that they find attractive. Even when your partner flirts with other women he still chooses to be with you so you actually have no reason to be jealous of flirting knowing that you are the person he chooses.





The third way to deal with jealousy is to use it to your advantage in a relationship. If you do this though you do need to be careful that it isn't taken too far. Showing a little possessiveness is actually enjoyable for some people and can add a spark to a relationship.





By dealing with jealousy this way it doesn't make you angry but instead makes both of you happy. If jealousy is a real problem though then you do need to take steps to learn how to deal with jealousy more effectively.


Monday, November 28, 2011

Serious Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend




If you and your boyfriend are considering taking things to the next level, whether that means getting engaged or moving in together, it's a good time to think about



serious questions to ask your boyfriend.





If the two of you haven't discussed issues such as kids, money, fidelity, etc. now would be a good time. For many couples, before they get to the point of moving in together or getting engaged, they've talked a lot and have really gotten to know each other, yet as odd as it may seem, they have never discussed the important things. Things that can drive relationships apart faster than anything else.





Here is a list of some of the things the two of you should discuss before getting more serious. Of course, this is hardly and inclusive list and you may think of your own



serious questions to ask your boyfriend, but this should at least help you get started:





1. Kids. Do either or both of you want them? If so, how many do you want? What attitudes do each of you have about raising kids? For example, if you are a "modern" woman who thinks that the household chores and taking care of the kids is a joint effort and that the two of you should share equally in this job, does your guy have the same attitudes?





If not, the two of you will find yourself in one hell of a power struggle. Don't do it. Find out before hand.





2. What about roles in the house in general, not just with the kids? Do you both have similar ideas of what the appropriate division of labor should be? If your guy is the type of man who thinks that cleaning is "womens work" and taking out the trash and cutting the grass are "mens work" will you be ok with that?





On the surface it may sound fair, but is it really? How often does the grass need to be cut or the trash taken out? How often do dishes need to be washed and the house cleaned? Think about it carefully and make sure you can honestly say that you are ok with those ideas.





3. Money. Do you both have similar outlooks on money, how it should be handled, what type of investments you should have, etc.? Money can be a huge sticking point. If one of you thinks that they should do all the handling of the money, the other person will eventually feel resentment because they have no control.





In most cases, it's best for both partners to work together when handling the household finances. That way, when you get older, if something happens to one of you, the other one isn't left with no clue.





As I said above, there are other things that you may



have serious questions to ask your boyfriend, but this list will give you a good place to start. The problem is that many couples don't ask these questions and by the time they find out they are on totally different pages, it's too late. They will fuss, fight and often break up. Avoid all that by asking the right questions early on.


Get Over Guy- Maybe He Did You A Favor




If you've been dumped girlfriend, I'm sure you're wondering what in the heck you should do now to get over the guy. You are more than likely feeling anger, resentment and hurt over the situation, especially if you were blindsided but hey, you know you have been through worse and you can survive this, too.





This is exactly the way you should be thinking. There's nothing wrong with hurting when someone you love is no longer in your life, and if you are strong enough to handle things then you will end up just being that much stronger when it's done. I'm not saying you should break down and sob in front of your friends, but your friends should also be able to support you while you're going through this. If they bail, maybe your first step should be to get some new friends.





Sometimes in life it's just as important to know what not to do as it is to know what to do. When you're trying to get over guy there are many things you just don't want to do, you will only keep the hurt feelings alive that much longer and you do not want to hurt others either.





For example, do not sleep with someone else right away. I know, you might think this will help your wounded pride and take away some of the hurt for a little while, but what about the other guy? Does he really deserve to be treated like a replacement for your ex? He has never done anything to deserve that kind of treatment.





No, it's best to just resist the urge to sleep with other guys at least for a little while until you can do it for the right reasons and not just to build up your own ego, ease your hurt, or get back at your ex. You will probably only make yourself feel worse by the way knowing that what you just did made you and the guy feel cheap and unfulfilled.





Another thing you need to avoid is the dumbest move of all of going out and getting drunk. It really accomplishes nothing and all you will succeed in doing is giving yourself a monster hangover. If you want to go out with your friends and have some fun to keep your mind off of things, then go for it. But if you want to drink yourself into a stupor either avoid doing that or at least stay home where you won't make a fool of yourself and where you will not hurt anyone.





Instead of engaging in these destructive behaviors when you have broken up with someone, try doing something positive that won't leave you feeling, or looking, like a fool. Join a gym and get in shape. Sweat out the anger and hurt. Why not take a single class or go back to school full-time? It doesn't matter what you do for yourself, as long as what ever it is that you choose to participate in is healthy and will eventually move you ahead in life. They can help you take your mind off your ex, and your anger and hurt, and concentrate on how to get over guy.


Separation Relationships - Is It Really Over




Separation relationships are often the step that comes before divorce but that is not always the case. Some relationships need help to get through a rough patch and even if it has come to a separation there may still be hope of reunited and making the relationship work. If you both still love one another and still want the relationship to work, then it can be saved if you both put in the effort.





Separation relationships are always between married couples, they can happen to any long term relationship. Separation will usually occur when a relationship has been on rocky grounds for a while and one or both partners feel that they need to part ways and see how things go. Sometimes they just need a break and some time to themselves to think about the future of the relationship.





Couples may often separate if an infidelity has occurred and been discovered and the partner that has been cheated on needs some space and some time to think things through. Any breach of trust between two people can lead to a separation, sometimes temporary and sometimes permanent. Separation doesn't need to be a step on the way to divorce or a permanent break up, it can be a period used to heal and then make the relationship stronger.





If a relationship is completely 100% over and one person will not even consider getting back together then they usually don't go down the path of a separation relationship but will instead just end the relationship completely. Separation is usually a time when a couple needs to figure out just where the relationship is heading and how to move forward.





If you agree to a separation because you don't want to hurt your partner but you really have no intention of ever going back to them, then this will just hurt them more in the long term. Postponing the hurt doesn't make it any easier but you may just be giving them false hope of the relationship being restored.





In a separation relationship both partners are willing to think things through and be open to the idea of giving the relationship another go. It doesn't always end up with a happy relationship but it does mean that you both still want to try and make it work.





If you are in a separation relationship you need to give your partner space so they can take the time that they need to think about their life and their future. You shouldn't try to rush them into coming back or that may send them in the other direction, you want to give them all the time they need and when they are ready they will come back. Let them know that you still love them and want them back but don't rush them.





Letting them know that you love them and want them back doesn't mean telling them constantly and harassing them every day. By harassing them you are not letting them have the space that they need to think things through. You might need to just take things slowly for a while.





If your partner has cheated on you then you are the one that will probably need some space to figure out if you want to take them back. If this was a one off incident then it may be something that you are willing to forgive and move on with the relationship. If you were the one to commit the infidelity then you need to assure your partner that it will never happen again and then give them the space that they need to deal with their emotions and thoughts.





When you are in a separation relationship you need to treat your partner with respect and give them the space they need. Try to work things through together and there is a good chance that you may get back together and have a happy future together.


Get Your Ex Back - Some Straight Talk




Yep, break ups suck! How's that for being blunt? Look I could start this article off by sugarcoating everything and being sweet, but what good will that do? Okay, to be fair, I really do understand how rough it is to be on the wrong side of a split. I know what it's like to love somebody and then having them suddenly not be a part of your life. So, with that in mind, here is some straight talk on how you can get your ex back.





The first thing you need to do is get your self-esteem back. If you have been doing everything you can think of to get your ex to just listen to you, or if you would be willing to do anything to get back together, then you are only asking for trouble. Even if your ex took you back in your current emotional state (and chances are not good when you're acting like this), they will hold the upper hand in the relationship, and that gets old fast. Besides, they would rather be with someone who is confident and sure of themselves, so build some confidence and be yourself. However, if they would be happy to take you back when you're in a fragile state, and are willing to take advantage of the situation, then my best advice is for you to run the other way. You don't deserve to be in a relationship with somebody like that.





While the two of you apart, keep living your life. It can sometimes be hard to do this, especially if you were with your ex for a long time. Either way, you need to go out and have fun with friends. Do the things you always wanted to do, but couldn't because your ex was there. Volunteer. Get a hobby. Anything to get you to experience more of what life has to offer. Oh, and whatever you do, don't feel guilty about doing any of these things. It's okay, you're broken up right now. Plus, doing these things will actually help you to get your ex back.





People are funny. You won't have to do anything but enjoy yourself, and word will get back to your ex that you're doing fine. That will either surprise your ex and make them curious...which means they may get in touch with you. Or, they will be happy to hear you're doing well, and will want to get in touch with you. But, even the worst-case scenario plays out, at least you're still having fun. What you're really doing here is hedging your bets. You win if they don't want to get back together, and you also increase your chances of them wanting to get back together.





After some time has passed (you know your ex better than I do, so this is a judgment call), and you're feeling confident and enjoying life, you can get in touch with your ex. All you want to do at this point is re-open the lines communication. So, set up a meeting where the two of you can talk, and you will be off to a good start to get your ex back.


After Marriage - Do You Know What To Do




Anyone who has been through a divorce knows how difficult it can be to learn how to move on after marriage. If they have been married for several years it can be even more difficult to get back out there and start dating again. Most may not even try because they are too scared.





I know of people who were so scarred and scared that they spent the rest of their lives alone, and that is a true shame. Do not let that happen to you. Yes, divorce is painful but you can get over it, you just have to allow yourself. It really is just a matter of allowing yourself time to grieve and then move on.





Most people who close off after a divorce just do not really take the time to deal with their pain and the issues that led to the divorce in the first place. Relationships fall apart for many reasons and dealing with it really is the only way to move on. If you do not give yourself time to deal with the pain then you won't ever be able to move on.





If this is you then you need to do a few things to help yourself. First and foremost, feel what you need to feel and then find a way to get over it. You have a life and now is the perfect time to go find it. If you just do not seem to be able to move on after several months then please do not hesitate to get help from a professional such as a therapist or counselor.





There is no shame in getting the help you need. This is your life and if you ever want to be happy and have a fulfilling relationship in the future then you really need to address the issues and deal with them once and for all.





Do not, under any circumstances, jump right back into a relationship. Figure out who you are in your new life and then learn to like the new you. This may take time to learn but every day is a step closer to being whole again.





Most people make the big mistake of trying to drown their sorrows by finding someone else to replace their lost love. Huge mistake. Not only do you run the risk of hurting someone else just because you have not really moved on, you also could make the huge mistake of thinking that you are in love with the new person when in reality you are just in a rebound relationship.





For your sake and the sake of your future relationships and anyone else you may meet, please take the time you need to allow yourself to heal before you look for solace in someone else's arms. This is the only way you can be sure that you are healed enough for a real relationship.





Having a fulfilling and loving relationship is really possible after marriage, but it will take some time to come to terms with everything you have been through. Allow yourself this time and your future will be much happier.


Get Back Together With Your Ex After You Have Been Dumped




If you have been dumped recently, then you know how hard going through a break up can be. There's one thing for sure, nobody likes to be dumped. The feelings of sadness, anger, confusion and guilt all leave their mark on you in one way or another. In spite of all that, you still want to get back together with your ex. The main thing to keep in mind is that the overwhelming majority of all relationships can be saved...if you follow the right plan and are willing to do what needs to be done.





It doesn't matter whether you're male or female, break ups suck! However, there may be some subtle differences in how you're programmed to deal with the situation. For example, men tend to keep their feelings to themselves, and this isn't healthy. On the other hand, women are more likely to share all of their emotions, sometimes not reigning them in when appropriate. Again, these are only generalities, and everybody is different. However, that's the point: we're all different.





Why is being different important? Because not every method for getting back an ex will work for everybody. Therefore, while these tips have been proven to work time and time again, you need to consider how they will work for you and your specific situation. Remember, there are plenty of resources to help you patch things up, so you should feel free to keep trying until you find one that clicks for you.





The first step toward getting your ex back is to agree with the break up. That's right. This will completely disarm your soon to be ex, and they probably won't know what to say. The break up may still happen, but you will prevent a bad situation from getting worse. The other benefit of saying the break up is the right thing for now is that it leaves the door open for the possibility of getting back together in the future. If you have already broken up, then send your ex a handwritten letter saying you agree the break up is the best thing for the two of you at this point.





Once you let them know you agree with breaking up, you have to break off all contact with your ex. That means no bumping into them "accidentally", no telephone calls, no emails or text messages, and no relaying things through mutual friends. You both need some alone time to sort through what has happened. Neither one of you can think clearly if one of you is bothering the other.





After enough time has passed you can get in touch with your ex again. The purpose of this first contact is to set up a meeting where the two if you can talk in person. This is not a date, so don't get any ideas of rekindling your romance (not yet, anyway). Keep this conversation low-key. You don't want to get into any arguments, you want to get back together with your ex. If all goes well, your ex will agree to meet you again, and again...and when that happens you will have a really good chance of working things out.


Sunday, November 27, 2011

How To Be Successful With Online Dating Sites




Many years ago back when our parents were young and dating everyone seemed to know their neighbors and often everyone in the neighborhood. There was such a wide circle of friends and family that it was relatively easy to meet new people through your friends and family. A few years later people started venturing out of the family and friends circle when looking to meet new people and moved on to clubs and bars. Things have changed over the years and these days many people just don't know their neighbors at all and going to a bar is probably not the safest option for meeting new people.





As with many things in life, technology has also had an effect on the dating scene. Now when people want to meet someone new they are turning to online dating sites to meet interesting and like minded people. Online dating sites have really taken over from personal ads in the newspaper and they are much more detailed and fun. When looking to meet someone using dating sites on the internet there are three main factors that you want to consider - your photo, your profile and what it is that attracts you to the opposite sex.





1. Your photo is a big factor because it is one of the first things that a potential date will see. You don't need to put on a photo of a super model - no point being dishonest because if you ever meet the person face to face they will soon know the truth. You should take care when choosing a photo for your profile picture and use one that is flattering. If you are allowed to post more than one picture then make sure you do. The best photos are the one's when a person is having fun, laughing and smiling. A candid picture that is taken on the spur of the moment that captures you in a happy and fun moment, these are the type of photos that make most of us look better and it will also give the impression that you are someone that is happy and fun to be around.





2. Your profile is also very important because this is what tells people what they want to know about you. Fill in as many details as you can in your profile and be specific about what you want others to know. Fill in your details with confidence and don't be putting yourself down. Online dating sites will match people according to possible compatibility using the information given in their profile so be sure to include your likes, hobbies and anything that you would like to find compatible with someone else.





Once again, be honest when filling in your details because if a relationship develops they will soon find out the truth. Imagine if you get to know someone and become quite fond of them and then they find out that you have lied and end the relationship because of those lies. You need to be honest, but also make it interesting and fun so that people browsing will find you interesting and want to get to know you.





3. The last important factor is knowing what it is that attracts you to the opposite sex. You need to know what you want and what you are looking for before you begin your search. Online dating sites will show you people based on what you say you are looking for so it is best to know exactly what that is. Be clear about any physical attributes that you are looking for, you might want someone in a particular age group, and also make it clear what you are looking for in a relationship.





Keep these three important factors in mind when joining an online dating site and your search to meet someone new will surely be successful.


Do Opposites Attract - You Bet




There was once a song that you might remember by Paula Abdul called 'Opposites Attract'. She sang this song about her and her partner and how many aspects of their personality were so completely opposite. Even though they were opposite in so many ways, they were still deeply and madly in love with each other. The video of this song made it even more obvious just how different these two really were.





This might just be a song and perhaps doesn't mean anything in that sense, but this song was written about a real couple and when Paula sang that song she was singing about the true differences between herself and her partner. Opposites really can and do attract. Although in some instances too many opposites can lead to trouble and the relationship might not work, but in other instances it works fine, it all depends on how the couple deal with their differences and how those differences affect their relationship. If the love between two people is strong enough then they can manage to deal with their differences and put lots of attention on the things that they do have in common.





For many couples they find that although they are complete opposites, those opposites often complement each other. Their differences actually make them stronger and better people when they balance each other out. For example, if one person is very laid back and doesn't really get upset over anything very often and the other partner has a real anger problem and get's quite angry over every little thing, then these two people can balance each other. The one partner who is calm and laid back will bring calmness and stability into this relationship and help the other one to calm down when they get angry. At the same time, the laid back partner may be taken advantage off quite a bit due to their laid back nature and the 'angrier' partner can also help them to not let people take advantage of them. Having completely opposite natures, although at times can have its frustrations, can also work out quite well.





Then there is always compromise if you have opposite tastes. If one partner loves romantic movies but the other loves action movies then it isn't that difficult to compromise once in a while and take turns as to what type of movie you see. You may even come across some movies that have a bit of both and you may even begin to develop a taste for the other one's favourites.





To have a good, strong relationship a couple needs to learn to balance their differences in positive ways. If the love is there then there is no reason why you can't work together to find the positives in the other person's tastes and personality. It may take some adjusting and cooperation from both partners, but it can work. There are many couples who are complete opposites but have a very loving and strong relationship. Although their differences suggest that they wouldn't be a suitable couple, because their love is so strong they make it work.





It is by combining the strengths and weaknesses of both partners and learning to accept some differences that really make the relationship work. The strong partner might become a bit mellower and the weak will become stronger and ultimately they can have the perfect relationship.


After Adultery - Saving a Relationship Is Hard Work




Putting a relationship back together after adultery may not be impossible, but it will be very, very difficult. In order for the two of you to fix your broken relationship, you will both need to be willing to do whatever is needed and commit to the relationship fully. There can be no half hearted attempts or it simply won't work.





Many couples will make their first step to seek the help of a therapist which may be a great idea. The truth is that the two of you are in an emotionally heightened state and may not be able to keep your calm during the process. Having an objective third party who can moderate the process might really help the two of you make some headway.





If one or both of you are determined to do it on your own, than you can, but it may be more difficult and even more painful.





It's important for both of you to understand that there is no excuse for infidelity, but nothing happens in a vacuum either. While you don't need to, nor should you, condone cheating it is often the sign of other problems in the relationship. Facing up to those problems and finding constructive solutions to them may be the answer to moving on after adultery.





As a matter of fact, dealing with these underlying issues may be a way to make your relationship better than it has been in a long time or maybe even better than it has ever been. You just have to get over this hurdle, and it is a big one.





Of course if the one who committed the adultery is a chronic cheater and this is a long standing pattern of behavior rather than a one time moment of weakness, the odds of ever having an adult, respectful relationship with them are slim to none.





I am not trying to be harsh, but facts are facts. If the person you are in a relationship with has shown through their actions that they are so flawed and lacking honesty or integrity that they habitually cheat on whoever they are with do not think that they are just going to turn over a new leaf and be the person you want them to be... they won't.





If you are in a relationship with this type of person you really would be wise to cut your losses and move on before they cause you anymore pain. Someone who is so fundamentally flawed can never be a worthy partner and you deserve better, everyone does.





If you decide that you simply can not forgive your partner, or they cannot forgive you, then you will have no choice but to move on. Be willing to give it time and if it was you that did the cheating, make some much needed changes.





Moving on after adultery whether you decide to try to work on your relationship or just call it quits and move on, will be a process. It is not going to happen quickly and it will not happen with out some pain, but it can happen. Just keep your dignity intact and be prepared for the battle of your life.


Should You Bother With A Second Date




It can be quite nerve-wracking going on a first date and you just don't know what to expect. Everyone has different expectations when they go on a first date as well as in a relationship, so how do you know whether a man is a 'keeper' or not? There are some signs that will show you whether a man is really worth even going on a second date with.





The first thing you should look at is where the man takes you on your first date. The venue that he takes you should meet some basic first date criteria. He should take you somewhere public, casual and conservative. If it seems that this guy has put no thought whatsoever in where he was taking you for your first date then he either doesn't have much imagination or the date doesn't really concern him all that much. By the end of the date you will probably know which one of those it is and then you can consider that in your decision as to whether to see him again.





Another thing to consider is how much confidence the man has. Can this guy make decisions or is he constantly second guessing himself? It is nice to have a man that can make decisions and not leave everything up to you. Although some women do prefer to be the dominant partner so they may prefer a man that isn't overly confident. So it depends on whether you prefer a man with confidence or one with no confidence, either way you should be able to tell which he is by the end of the first date.





Then there are the little things that you can pay attention to. When you are walking along the street does he walk by your side or does he walk a few feet ahead like he's embarrassed to be seen with you? Does he constantly stare at you when having a conversation? Does he order your meal without even asking what you want or what you like? Unless you enjoy being controlled by a man and ogled at constantly, then this sort of behavior doesn't point to a promising relationship.





Communication is a very important factor in any relationship and sometimes on a first date it can be a little awkward at first. However if the guy constantly talks only about himself and has no real interest in listening to anything you have to say, then he is probably not good relationship material. Unless you really want to spend your life with a man that is only interested in himself!





It is nice to have a man that shows some respect and courtesy. It is nice if a guy opens the door for you or pulls out your chair for you to sit down at the table, but it is also important to watch how he treats others. Does he constantly talk negatively about other people? Is he rude to the waiters? Does he saw terrible things about his ex girlfriend? Does he say anything nasty about your friends or family? If he is overly nice to you but nasty to everyone else then his niceness to you is just an act and it will eventually wear off. You can get a good idea of a man's character by how he treats other people.





When you look at all of these factors you can soon get the general idea of what a guy is like and whether you think he is the sort of guy that you want to pursue a relationship with. If you don't think he is then it really isn't even worth going on a second date, just cut your losses and move on to find that man that is perfect!


He Dumped Me - Will I Ever Get Over It




Being dumped is never any fun! And if you find yourself saying, "he dumped me", then you know exactly what I'm talking about. Right now you may wondering if and how you will ever get over it. To make matters worse, you may be questioning whether or not you will ever find love again. And while the situation may seem really bad now, there are certain things you can do to make it better.





Right now you have a decision to make. You can either live in a fantasy world, or you can deal with reality. The fantasy world is where you pretend like nothing happened, that your ex still loves you with all of their heart, or that they will come crawling back to you once you are able to plead your case. Hogwash! Sorry, but while those thoughts may give you some comfort, they will not help you to move forward. No, what you need is to be real.





The first step to facing reality is to be completely honest. That means being honest with your ex, honest with yourself and honest about the relationship. Nobody is saying that this will be easy, but it is necessary. You have to know exactly what the problems surrounding your relationship were before you can have any chance of fixing them. And that simply can't happen if you're deluding yourself.





You have friends and family, so be sure to go to them for support. However, you should also consider increasing the size of your support network. This can include a counselor, psychologist, clergy or anybody else willing to help you. Again, going through a break up isn't easy, but getting help and support from people that care about you will make it a lot less difficult.





"He dumped me" may be the phrase that keeps running through your head, but that's not helping either. So, you need to do whatever you can to stop that voice from playing in your head. It will only make you feel worse. Go out with friends and have some fun. There's no need to feel guilty about having a good time without your ex...after all, they are your ex which means they have no say in what you do with your free time. Getting a new hobby or volunteering are also good options for getting your mind to think about different things.





Be patient. The pain of a break up will be at its absolute strongest immediately after it happens. Then, as time goes on, it will bother you less and less. There is no substitute for time, but it can work wonders. So look ahead to the future and know there will come a time when the sting of splitting up won't be so strong. It may be hard to believe right now, but there have been millions of people before you who found that time really was on their side when all was said and done.


Stop Your Divorce Before It Is To Late




If your relationship is so bad that it has landed in divorce court, why would you want to stop your divorce? We all know that relationships are never perfect. Some may seem like they are but there are always little things that creep in and cause trouble. If these little things get big enough then divorce is usually the only option left.





But, if you want to stop your divorce and try to fix your relationship then more power to you. You will need it. If you found yourselves right at the brink then you are undoubtedly in need of counseling to put things back together. Do not think you can do this yourself. Get the help you need and get it soon. This is the only way you will be able to work through all the pain and anger that has built up over the past few months or even years.





A good counselor can help you both learn new and much more effective communication techniques. More effective communication techniques can lead to more understanding of each other's faults and foibles. More understanding can lead to resolution of hurt feelings and the beginning of trust and respect returning to your relationship. When trust and respect are restored then anything is possible in your relationship.





Before you start to see a counselor take some time to write down issues you think need to be worked on. Encourage your spouse to do the same. If they refuse, do it anyway and write down that one too. If the marriage is to be saved then both of you have to give it 100% and make each other a priority.





Be careful though, not to put the full blame for the problems in the relationship all on one of you. It takes two to make or break a relationship. Some people may argue that it only takes one person to ruin a relationship but if you think about it when the problems get big if you both do not address them then the relationship is in deep trouble.





The counselor you choose can act as a neutral third party to help you wade through all the crap that has paralyzed you both for so long. The counselor can help keep the lines of communication open and keep things moving forward and also keep the fighting to a minimum.





The longer you wait, the closer to divorce you will get and the harder it will be to pull it all back from the edge of disaster. The sooner you both admit that you do still love each other enough to want to stay together but realize that it will take an enormous amount of love, patience and time to fix your relationship, the better off you will be.





Just do not expect it to happen overnight. It didn't get bad overnight and you won't be able to fix it that quickly either. All of this is necessary if you really want to stop your divorce.


Saturday, November 26, 2011

How To Flirt With Men Without Appearing Easy




Have you ever wanted to flirt with a man but decided against it because you didn't want to appear desperate or too easy? If you have high values and beliefs then you certainly don't want to appear like you are just there to be 'picked up'. Then of course there is also the problem that some men are there simply for that reason - to pick up women just for sex. It is these men that you have to be particularly careful of because even the slightest sign of friendliness from you might be interpreted as a sign that you are looking for a one night stand. The good news is that there are some subtle ways that you can flirt with a man without giving off the impression that you are ready to jump into bed with him.





The first thing that you might want to consider is the location where you are meeting a man. Depending on the place that you are at can make a big difference to the type of men that are there and what they are looking for. For example, if you meet a man standing in line at the supermarket or sitting on a park bench, it would be fairly obvious that you’re flirting is because you find him attractive and not because you want to jump into bed with him. The more mundane locations that you meet a man the more likely it is that your interaction is one of friendliness and not one of any sexual motivation.





Then there are locations where you will need to be more cautious with your flirting. Bars and nightclubs are both places where flirting can be mistaken for something more. These sorts of places are in fact places where people often go just so they can hook up with someone for a one night stand. If you go to a bar or nightclub with other women then be prepared to have men do some serious flirting with you in the hope of 'getting lucky'. These guys aren't just looking for a bit of harmless flirting though they are looking to find a one night stand. Even if your flirting is very subtle, they will take any bit of attention as a sign that you are willing to jump into bed with them.





Once you get the hang of flirting it is quite easy to flirt with a man without looking easy. Something as simple as looking into his eyes while you give him a small smile will do wonders. This gives him a sign that you do like him. Although you may be nervous about flirting at first, when you become use to flirting it becomes more natural. Your ultimate goal of flirting is to be friendly but not 'easy' and there is a big difference between the two.





When you are flirting with a man, smiles and a bit of humour go a long way. When you use humor you are keeping the mood light and not coming across as too serious. You should always use a bit of humor when you are flirting with a guy.





You become an expert at flirting when you reach a point where it really doesn't bother you if a man returns the flirting. This is when you become such a natural at flirting that you do it naturally whenever you communicate with men. Men realize that this sort of flirting is your natural communication and they won't take it as a sign of wanting a one night stand with them. When you are confident with flirting you can flirt but still have control of the situation.


Knowing The Signs Of A Dangerous Relationship




Unfortunately these days there seems to be more and more relationships that turn dangerous. It might be that there are more relationships that are violent or perhaps it is just that we hear about them more these days than we did in the past. Years ago a woman was too scared to mention if she was in an abusive relationship and women are often scared even today to mention it. But as there more and more help becoming available for abused women, more women are managing to get out of their bad relationship and find help.





There is often some shame attached to being in an abusive relationship as many women will believe that it is somehow their fault. Years ago more women believed that when you got married it really was til death do you part, for better or for worse, so there was no possibility of considering leaving the marriage even if it was abusive. Many women have and still do suffer in silence when they live with an abusive husband.





Many women today still remain in abuse relationships out of fear that their husband would kill them if they left, but for the most part, more and more women are able to leave. Those who stay have either been abused for so long that they now believe that somehow they deserve it or some women have been isolated by their abuser that they are afraid to go out into the world on their own. Even though this sounds old fashioned, it really is a problem for many women.





It is easy to say that a woman just shouldn't get involved with an abusive man in the first place. However many men keep their abusive nature a secret until they have the woman right where they want her. Many women don't see the abusive side of a man until they are married, and then it can begin as early as the honeymoon. The man will often apologize and say it will never happen again and the woman will believe him because she really does want it to be true.





One sign of an abusive person is if they are overly possessive and jealous. This might start off quite mild but will increase and can reach the stage where you cannot even talk or look at another man without them becoming extremely jealous. Their possessiveness can reach a stage where he won't let you out of his site and has to know your every move. If you begin to feel uncomfortable by a man’s possessiveness and jealousy early in a relationship then perhaps you should leave then before it becomes worse. The longer you remain in an abusive relationship the worse it becomes so if you can recognize the signs and get out early then you will stay safe.





Some men will become so possessive that they will forbid their wife or girlfriend to even see their friends or family. He will isolate her so that she doesn't have a support system or anyone to help her leave. If in the early stages of a relationship a man begins to complain about you spending time with friends or family and tries to prevent it then this could be a sign that he has a possessive personality and perhaps even an abuse one.





If you notice any signs at all that the man you are dating could be possessive or abusive then it is best to leave and end the relationship before becomes too serious. You can even get in touch with his ex-girlfriends to see if they will talk to you about him and they may be able to shed some light on his issues. It is much easier to prevent danger by avoiding an abusive relationship than it is to try and escape from it later.


Separation Relationships - Relief or Hurt




Separation, relationships ending is an extremely difficult time for anyone to go through. It is probably the single biggest pain most people will ever have to endure. And while there is no pill you can take to make the pain suddenly be over, there are a few things that may make it possible for you to move on and find happiness again.





We all run the risk of getting so angry and bitter when a relationship ends that we carry that bitterness with us for the rest of our lives. If we do, we run the very real risk of sabotaging every other relationship we enter into and that will only magnify our pain.





When we find ourselves facing a separation, relationships ending then the only thing we can really do is learn from the experience and then let it go forever. That might be easier said than done and while no one thinks it will be easy, it is possible.





For most people, one of the best things to do is to spend some time at the very beginning of the separation and just fall apart. Sleep in, spend time in your pajamas and just disconnect for a little while. You don't want to go too crazy but a little down time generally won't hurt a thing.





During this time just grieve. You don't have, to and probably shouldn't, recreate the whole relationship in your head trying to figure out 'what went wrong'. For right now, just allow yourself to mourn the end of your relationship. Please be aware that this is a limited time offer. You can't stay in this disconnected mode for too long.





After you've allowed yourself some down time then it's time to ease back into your life. This is not the time to date, this is the time to spend time with your friends and family doing things that are positive and life affirming. Resist the temptation to drink, smoke or do other self destructive behaviors all in the quest to relieve your pain.





If you give in to these activities you will only make your road to recovery that much more difficult because you will have yet another thing to deal with above and beyond your broken heart.





Everything that has ever begun started with an end. Not trying to get too deep here but never forget that an ending is just the beginning of something else. Try hard to always keep that in mind, it might help you find something positive in your pain.





So what do you want to begin? What thing(s) have you been putting off, what things have you always said "some day"? Maybe today is "some day". Maybe having something positive to focus on can help you feel a little better about your life and situation and that can help lessen some of the pain you feel.





Everyone is different and you have to find your own way of dealing with separation, relationships ending. Hopefully some of these ideas will help out a little bit.


After Infidelity - What Do You Do Now




You just found out that your spouse is cheating. What do you do after infidelity is brought to the forefront of your relationship? Do you forgive and forget or do you kick them to the curb so fast their head spins. Frankly, if it were me, I would pick the latter.





I do not abide being made a fool of so they would be gone so fast they would not know what hit them. But then what? Where would you be then? All alone with no one to talk to? If you were really in love then I guess the hurt would be completely devastating and it would take a lot of time to get over. Life could be pretty tough after infidelity.





When you make the decision to kick them to the curb you automatically take control from them and insert yourself back into your life. No more passivity, no more dependence on them for your happiness. Tell them it is over and absolutely refuse to have any contact with them whatsoever. They are no longer worth your time. Tell them if they want to contact you they should talk to your lawyer.



Let the anger you feel be your guide, for now. Do not let it consume you because it will literally eat you up inside and you will not be good to anyone, especially yourself. So, use the anger effectively to get through the divorce and then learn to let it go. See someone to help if you need to but find a way to let it go.





One good way to vent your anger and other feelings is to start a daily journal. This is a way to track how you are dealing with the infidelity. You could even write a letter to your ex and vent all you like. This can be very healing and cleansing. After you write it then just sign it, seal it, and put it away. It is there for you only, they won't care what you have to say to them. They made their choice, let them live with it.





You may begin to feel some depression over the loss of the relationship and this is completely normal. If it doesn't start to subside in relatively short order then see your doctor or find a counselor to talk things out with. There are medications you can take short term to help with situational depression and help you cope. Don't be afraid to take these medications they can help and do help thousands of people deal with depression. You can take them until you start to feel better then wean yourself off (with the advice and direction of your doctor that is).





Eventually you will get to a good place both in your head and in your life where you can be happy and start looking for another relationship. This will take some time though so do not rush things. Stay connected to your feelings by continuing to write in your journal every night before you go to bed. Occasionally read back when you first started the journal and see how you have changed and grown. You should see a natural progression of feelings and coping mechanisms that get you to where you are now after infidelity.


Love Or Infatuation - Which Is It




It can sometimes be difficult to know whether you are actually in love with someone or whether it is just a bad case of infatuation. The signs of infatuation are quite similar to those of love making it difficult to distinguish between the two at times. Of course it is usually only difficult to determine the difference early on in a relationship and as time goes on you will realize which it is.





You can become infatuated with someone from the very first moment you meet them and that really is too early to fall in love so it is quite obvious that it is infatuation at that stage. As you talk and get to know the person then the attraction you have for them may become stronger and you want to spend as much time as you can with them. When you begin to seriously dating then that's when things can start to get a bit tricky.





When you start dating you have very strange things happening to you - you have trouble sleeping, you don't have much appetite and you really aren't interested in anything except for this new person that has entered your life. These are symptoms of 'love sickness'. Every time that your phone rings your heart skips a beat because you know it could be this special new person. If it is someone else then your heart drops and you may actually feel irritated with the person because it isn't who you wanted it to be.





When you are going to meet this person for a date you begin feeling anxious, your hands sweat and you can't sit still. You look at the clock every couple of minutes and you check yourself in the mirror over and over again to make sure you look your best. However, it doesn't matter how he looks because at this point you think everything he does is great. Even though he may show some traits that would send others running - a terrible laugh or terrible table manners - you don't care because you are blinded by this love sickness that you love everything he does. You don't want to be apart from him and whenever you are you just constantly think about him and can't wait until the next time you see him. You can't keep your hands off each other and you never run out of things to say.





Up to this point in the relationship, love sickness may not actually mean that it is true love, it could still be infatuation. After about six to eight weeks if still think his terrible table manners and atrocious laugh are cute then maybe it really is love. However, if those things are really starting to irritate you then it has possibly just been infatuation up to this point. After this honeymoon period is over things will begin to settle and you will be able to cope with a couple of days apart. This doesn't mean that it isn't love; this is a normal progression of a relationship. If you start actually enjoying your days apart more than you enjoy being with him, then it might be a sign that it is infatuation and not love.





The biggest sign that it is love and not infatuation is that when the honeymoon period is over you still love to spend time together, despite any little traits that annoy you, then it is love. If you begin to find each other disgusting, then it was just a fun time, it was infatuation and now it's time to move on.


Friday, November 25, 2011

Real Secrets Of How To Win Love Back




You know, it's really amazing to me just how much advice there is out there on how to win love back. The sad part is that a lot of that advice, while given with the best of intentions, is misguided or plain wrong. Don't these people realize that they are dealing real lives? You really have to wonder sometimes if these people are completely clueless, or if they just don't care.





One of the worst things you can do is try to track down your ex; to contact them constantly; to be a pest. All of those things may make you feel like you're doing something to get your ex back, but the truth is that you will only be pushing them further away. That's right. The very actions you are taking could be having the exact opposite of the desired effect. Calling late at night, sending tons of text messages, or bumping into the "accidentally" are all examples of using the wrong approach.





Surely there must be a better way of how to win love back. You be there is! Most of what you think you know is probably wrong. I don't mean this to be rude, but if you knew the right things to do, you probably wouldn't be reading this article because the two of you would be back together. That may sound harsh, but it's more important to have a reality check than to sugar-coat the problem. Facing reality is what you're going to have to do if you're serious about getting your ex back.





A lot of people will suggest different mind games for you to play in the hopes that your ex can be fooled into to going back to you. But even if those mind games worked, your ex would be coming back under false pretenses. You may be together after playing these silly games, but it won't last. If you want to have a long-lasting relationship then it has to be built on the foundation of honesty.





The other thing you need to do is treat your ex with respect, even if you still have some bad feelings about the break up. Whenever you talk to them or see them, you should be respectful. Your ex is a person and deserves to be treated well, no matter what happens. But respect doesn't just apply to dealings with your ex, it also applies to all the times you talk about your ex when they aren't around. That means, to put it simply, no negative gossip.





Just be yourself. Don't go overboard in trying to make your ex think you're somebody that you're not. Now, there is always a chance that you will get them back this way, but they aren't really coming back to you; they're coming back to who you're pretending to be. And you won't be able to keep up the charade forever. You're best bet is to just be yourself, that's one key of how to win love back.


How to Survive Cheating