Infidelity in The Marriage - Can Marriage Survive an Affair?

Has your spouse been coming home lately with a strange scent on them? Or maybe his or her car is showing more mileage then it should. It is little things like these that will eventually give your spouses cheating away. Anyone who is dealing with some of these things probably asks themselves several times "can marriage survive an affair?" Short answer is yes if you do something about it and divorce might not be the answer you are looking for. It doesn't solve the problems that might have caused the affair to happen in your marriage.

Emotional infidelity may be referred to by several names for instance 'extramarital emotional involvement,' or 'an emotional affair,'. It can strike a person when he or she does not have the things that men and women get married for and that's appreciation or admiration, and consideration from their spouse. Without these having these needs met it makes it easier for a spouse to be pushed into an Emotional affair.

An emotional affair is getting fulfillment outside the marriage. Looking for the appreciation from someone besides your spouse is the fulfillment and it doesn't have to be physical. This type of behavior is no different then having a physical affair even though it may seem innocent at first. Emotional affairs are fastly becoming a new trend among married couples all ages but more so in the 35 to 54 age groups.

Somme of the symptoms seem to follow three basic characteristics or being secretive or deceptive with your spouse, greater emotional intimacy with others outside the boundaries of the marriage, and changes in sexual behavior. Some of the major signs are lack of sexual drive, spending time away from home or on the computer. staying on the phone for longer then normal, working overtime. extra mileage on the car odometer to name a few.

Cheating is a choice but that doesn't mean it is all the fault of the one being unfaithful in the relationship. There are going to be truths that will come out that probably have been neglected by the spouse who remained faithful. It takes effort to keep the relationship going and if you haven't been filling your spouses needs it makes having an emotional affair easier. So pointing fingers is not going to solve anything. Getting upset or panicking is just going to make things worse. You need to handle your marriage problems in a calm and understanding way.Keeping the lines of communication open is the only way to solve you marital problems.

If you do suspect your wife or husband is having an emotional affair then look for the signs. If you find they are then it may be best if you look for problems within the marriage. As you discover some truths you may find that you are just as much to blame for the affair happening. If you stay calm and work things out together you should be able to save your marriage.

I'm Roy Holtz and I wrote Infidelity in The Marriage - Can Marriage Survive an Affair [http://www.surviveinfedelityinmarriage.magicofmakingup-guide.com] to help those who are struggling through a bad time in their marriage...a marital affair. I hope you don't do anything drastic until you try to work things out first.

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Many couples will make their first step to seek the help of a therapist which may be a great idea. The truth is that the two of you are in an emotionally heightened state and may not be able to keep your calm during the process. Having an objective third party who can moderate the process might really help the two of you make some headway.

If one or both of you are determined to do it on your own, than you can, but it may be more difficult and even more painful. 

It's important for both of you to understand that there is no excuse for infidelity, but nothing happens in a vacuum either. While you don't need to, nor should you, condone cheating it is often the sign of other problems in the relationship. Facing up to those problems and finding constructive solutions to them may be the answer to moving on after adultery.

As a matter of fact, dealing with these underlying issues may be a way to make your relationship better than it has been in a long time or maybe even better than it has ever been. You just have to get over this hurdle, and it is a big one.

Of course if the one who committed the adultery is a chronic cheater and this is a long standing pattern of behavior rather than a one time moment of weakness, the odds of ever having an adult, respectful relationship with them are slim to none.

I am not trying to be harsh, but facts are facts. If the person you are in a relationship with has shown through their actions that they are so flawed and lacking honesty or integrity that they habitually cheat on whoever they are with do not think that they are just going to turn over a new leaf and be the person you want them to be... they won't.

If you are in a relationship with this type of person you really would be wise to cut your losses and move on before they cause you anymore pain. Someone who is so fundamentally flawed can never be a worthy partner and you deserve better, everyone does.

If you decide that you simply can not forgive your partner, or they cannot forgive you, then you will have no choice but to move on. Be willing to give it time and if it was you that did the cheating, make some much needed changes.

Moving on after adultery whether you decide to try to work on your relationship or just call it quits and move on, will be a process. It is not going to happen quickly and it will not happen with out some pain, but it can happen.  Just keep your dignity intact and be prepared for the battle of your life.

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