Can a Marriage Survive an Affair? 3 Ideas For Peace of Mind After Your Spouses Affair

Often the hardest thing in the world is to move on after your spouse has had an affair. Your lives are often so entwined and it is so complicated legally and emotionally that often it would be a relief just to put it behind you and reconcile. This step is also harder said than done because of the anger you may harbour towards your spouse or partner. Here are three ideas to give you more peace and more chance of a successful reconciliation.

1) Forgive but never forget.
This does to many people simply mean don't forgive. But to truly forgive you will need to find a shift on the inside, that just makes it OK again. This shift is subtle but significant and will allow your heart to just say, "yep its ok...they are only human" this shift can be aroused by developing a good relationship after the fact, however hard it may feel to do so.

2) Never Forget.
When you have achieved this inner shift, more for your sanity and peace of mind than for their forgiveness, it is time to mentally review and put to bed all fear and doubt so you can move on with the rest of your lives. To do this you must examine your beliefs about your spouse or partner and re-evaluate them. In this way you adjust your heart and mind to love them "despite" they are a new and different person. Just like you may accept them because they get pimples sometimes or you accept them because they have bad morning breath, now you need to mentally accept them because they have weaker moral fibre than you hoped or falsely believed. This will require a new way of dealing with them, but assess and accept you must.

3) Take pre-emptive action from now on.
Monitor their behaviour on the computer, monitor their mail and cell activity, monitor it all in secret and silence. Just like protecting an alcoholic from the bottle, you must be vigilant for a re-lapse.

Ultimately it is hard, but often, a break up is just not an option at the time of the infidelity. Work to keep them on the straight and narrow and after several years you may even find a new spark of love for the spouse.

Article Source

Dating Tips For Women-Find The Right Person

Finding the right person to spend time with is often a tricky thing to do. The dating scene may, thanks to the internet, give us new options, but some things never change. With that in mind, here are some proven dating tips for women.

Dating Tips for Women #1 - Don't talk about your previous relationships.

Yes, you can talk about past flings eventually, but you shouldn't bring them up too soon. Generally speaking, the longer you wait, the better. Ignoring this tip is not a smart move. The reason it's such a problem is that the guy you are dating wants to talk about his favorite subject...him! He will consider any time you spend talking about your ex as a signal that you are less interested in him, and more interested in the men from your past. The purpose of dating is to get to know each other, so take some time to get to know the new guy in your life before you start talking about past loves.

Dating Tips for Women #2 - Just be yourself.

Dating makes people anxious. You want to give a good first impression, and you definitely don't want to say or do anything stupid. Unfortunately, a lot of women will overcompensate by pretending to be somebody they're not. The problem here is that the real you will come out sooner or later. Not only that, if a guy doesn't like you for who you are, then it's a waste of your time and his to keep stringing him along some phony story.

Dating Tips for Women #3 - Don't think about the future before it's time.

Not every guy is afraid of commitment, but they may be scared off if on your first date you start talking about marriage, having kids and your ticking biological clock. Even if he brings up the subject first, try to not give any definitive answer as he may be testing you. If you have a great date, then be careful to avoid fantasizing about how wonderful your future together is going to be. You may have dreamed about living the fairy tale since you were a young girl, but don't let that dream prevent you from taking advantage of reality.

Dating Tips for Women #4 - Take compliments gracefully.

Few things are more irritating to a guy than women who instantly downplay a compliment. It takes a lot of courage for a guy to say he likes your hair, so don't respond by telling him how awful you think your hair is. Not only will he feel like you are shooting him down, but hew will also think you have low self-esteem or just like to be contrary; none of these things will endear you to him.

While there are tons of other dating tips for women, these are a good start. If you follow them, you will greatly increase your odds of having a second date after enjoyable date.