Should You Use Christian Marriage Counseling-Could Be Good For Some Couples

If you are a Christian and you find that your marriage is in trouble then you may want to consider using Christian marriage counseling. This service isn't for everyone and will depend on how deeply religious you are as to whether you will find it appropriate for your situation. Christian marriage counseling can make a big difference and may help to save your marriage.

There is the option of regular marriage counseling for anyone that is having difficulty with their marriage. This type of counseling is for anyone, regardless of religion, to use when they find their marriage is in trouble. This type of counseling will focus on any problems within the marriage including how the partners treat one another. Christian marriage counseling also focuses on these things but it also has an emphasis on prayer and turning to God to help you through this difficult time.

This type of counseling works really well for some people but it's not for everyone. There are many Christian couples who may not even benefit from this type of counseling, depending on both partners attitude toward religion, church and God.

Some Christians have such great faith in God that they will spend a lot of time praying, knowing that God will point them in the right direction and help them through tough times. Other people will not rely on God to fix everything for them but feel that God helps those who help themselves and they will pray for guidance but know that they must also make the effort to fix the problem. If a husband and wife have different views on such issues then Christian marriage counseling may actually give them more conflict.

If the counseling focuses on prayer and miracles then the partner that believes a person needs to put an effort in to make things happen may not be as happy with the counseling. If the counseling focuses on action and using prayer for guidance then the partner that wants a miracle through prayer may not be happy with it.

If your marriage is having trouble already the last thing you want to do is add more conflict. If the counseling does not use an approach that both partners are comfortable with then it is probably best to avoid it.

This is not to say you should avoid Christian marriage counseling, but you should find out what kind of approach it takes before deciding whether to go ahead with it or not. You can always go to one session to get a feel for what it's like and then make your decision. You should agree with each other that if one of you is not happy with the counseling because it goes against what you believe, that you do not continue with it.

Sometimes Christian marriage counseling can be old fashioned and work from the beliefs of the Old Testament of the Bible that give women little or no rights. This type of counseling will often put the blame of marriage problems onto the woman. Some religions still believe that women should be subservient to men just as they were in Biblical times. They believe the man only has a share in failure if he doesn't respect the woman or doesn't praise her enough for her service and obedience. If a counseling service is given with these beliefs then this can damage the woman's self esteem and quite possibly make her more resentful.

With both secular and Christian marriage counseling you really need to find out the focus of the counseling and you need to feel comfortable with how they work. If you aren't comfortable with the counseling then stop going and find another one that may suit you better and make you both comfortable to work through your problems.

Should You Bother With A Second Date

It can be quite nerve-wracking going on a first date and you just don't know what to expect. Everyone has different expectations when they go on a first date as well as in a relationship, so how do you know whether a man is a 'keeper' or not? There are some signs that will show you whether a man is really worth even going on a second date with.

The first thing you should look at is where the man takes you on your first date. The venue that he takes you should meet some basic first date criteria. He should take you somewhere public, casual and conservative. If it seems that this guy has put no thought whatsoever in where he was taking you for your first date then he either doesn't have much imagination or the date doesn't really concern him all that much. By the end of the date you will probably know which one of those it is and then you can consider that in your decision as to whether to see him again.

Another thing to consider is how much confidence the man has. Can this guy make decisions or is he constantly second guessing himself? It is nice to have a man that can make decisions and not leave everything up to you. Although some women do prefer to be the dominant partner so they may prefer a man that isn't overly confident. So it depends on whether you prefer a man with confidence or one with no confidence, either way you should be able to tell which he is by the end of the first date.

Then there are the little things that you can pay attention to. When you are walking along the street does he walk by your side or does he walk a few feet ahead like he's embarrassed to be seen with you? Does he constantly stare at you when having a conversation? Does he order your meal without even asking what you want or what you like? Unless you enjoy being controlled by a man and ogled at constantly, then this sort of behavior doesn't point to a promising relationship.

Communication is a very important factor in any relationship and sometimes on a first date it can be a little awkward at first. However if the guy constantly talks only about himself and has no real interest in listening to anything you have to say, then he is probably not good relationship material. Unless you really want to spend your life with a man that is only interested in himself!

It is nice to have a man that shows some respect and courtesy. It is nice if a guy opens the door for you or pulls out your chair for you to sit down at the table, but it is also important to watch how he treats others. Does he constantly talk negatively about other people? Is he rude to the waiters? Does he saw terrible things about his ex girlfriend? Does he say anything nasty about your friends or family? If he is overly nice to you but nasty to everyone else then his niceness to you is just an act and it will eventually wear off. You can get a good idea of a man's character by how he treats other people.

When you look at all of these factors you can soon get the general idea of what a guy is like and whether you think he is the sort of guy that you want to pursue a relationship with. If you don't think he is then it really isn't even worth going on a second date, just cut your losses and move on to find that man that is perfect!