4 Lessons From Break Ups

So, you've gone through a break up? Perhaps it's your first, perhaps it's just one of many. Either way, you are not alone. I have been dumped far more times than I care to admit. However, I have also learned some really good lessons during those failed relationships, lessons that prevented my current relationship from coming to an end...and trust me, it was very rocky at times. With that in mind, here are some of those lessons. Use them to get back together, or stay together with the person you live.

Lesson #1 - Nobody operates in a vacuum. What that means is that neither one of you are 100% to blame for the problems you may be having. You can't waste time playing the blame game because you need to work on improving yourself first. After all, you can't force your mate to do whatever you want, even if it's for the good of the relationship. That being said, you can certainly influence their behavior by the things you say and do.

Lesson #2 - We all need some space every now and then. Even the happiest, most committed of couples need some breathing room once in a while. Don't take it personally if your partner wants to be alone. And don't feel guilty if you're the one that needs some free time. It doesn't mean the two of you don't love each other, it just means you're human. The last thing you want to do is smother each other. If you find that you are having a hard time with this idea, then it's either because you have trust issues, or separation anxiety. Whatever the case may be, you will need to work on these things if they're a problem.

Lesson #3 - Time heals. Maybe it doesn't heal all wounds completely, but it sure can take the edge off. This applies to you if you're trying to get over a break up. You may feel incredibly hurt right now, but it will get better as time goes on. It also applies if you are having problems in your current relationship. You may be arguing, not getting along, or holding a grudge, but give each other some time to cool off and things will get better.

Lesson #4 - Some things were meant to be. While we can control a lot of what happens in our lives, we can't control all of it. Accepting that fact will keep you much happier. Maybe you were in a break up a few years ago, and you still wonder about what could have been if you would have tried harder to work things out. The answer is...well, who knows. But that's the point. It's also one of the most important lessons I've learned. The key is to try as hard as you can to get your ex back if your relationship has failed. That way you won't be wondering "what if" for the rest of your life.