Separation, relationships ending is an extremely difficult time for anyone to go through. It is probably the single biggest pain most people will ever have to endure. And while there is no pill you can take to make the pain suddenly be over, there are a few things that may make it possible for you to move on and find happiness again.
We all run the risk of getting so angry and bitter when a relationship ends that we carry that bitterness with us for the rest of our lives. If we do, we run the very real risk of sabotaging every other relationship we enter into and that will only magnify our pain.
When we find ourselves facing a separation, relationships ending then the only thing we can really do is learn from the experience and then let it go forever. That might be easier said than done and while no one thinks it will be easy, it is possible.
For most people, one of the best things to do is to spend some time at the very beginning of the separation and just fall apart. Sleep in, spend time in your pajamas and just disconnect for a little while. You don't want to go too crazy but a little down time generally won't hurt a thing.
During this time just grieve. You don't have, to and probably shouldn't, recreate the whole relationship in your head trying to figure out 'what went wrong'. For right now, just allow yourself to mourn the end of your relationship. Please be aware that this is a limited time offer. You can't stay in this disconnected mode for too long.
After you've allowed yourself some down time then it's time to ease back into your life. This is not the time to date, this is the time to spend time with your friends and family doing things that are positive and life affirming. Resist the temptation to drink, smoke or do other self destructive behaviors all in the quest to relieve your pain.
If you give in to these activities you will only make your road to recovery that much more difficult because you will have yet another thing to deal with above and beyond your broken heart.
Everything that has ever begun started with an end. Not trying to get too deep here but never forget that an ending is just the beginning of something else. Try hard to always keep that in mind, it might help you find something positive in your pain.
So what do you want to begin? What thing(s) have you been putting off, what things have you always said "some day"? Maybe today is "some day". Maybe having something positive to focus on can help you feel a little better about your life and situation and that can help lessen some of the pain you feel.
Everyone is different and you have to find your own way of dealing with separation, relationships ending. Hopefully some of these ideas will help out a little bit.
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