Can a Marriage Survive an Affair? 3 Ideas For Peace of Mind After Your Spouses Affair

Often the hardest thing in the world is to move on after your spouse has had an affair. Your lives are often so entwined and it is so complicated legally and emotionally that often it would be a relief just to put it behind you and reconcile. This step is also harder said than done because of the anger you may harbour towards your spouse or partner. Here are three ideas to give you more peace and more chance of a successful reconciliation.

1) Forgive but never forget.
This does to many people simply mean don't forgive. But to truly forgive you will need to find a shift on the inside, that just makes it OK again. This shift is subtle but significant and will allow your heart to just say, "yep its ok...they are only human" this shift can be aroused by developing a good relationship after the fact, however hard it may feel to do so.

2) Never Forget.
When you have achieved this inner shift, more for your sanity and peace of mind than for their forgiveness, it is time to mentally review and put to bed all fear and doubt so you can move on with the rest of your lives. To do this you must examine your beliefs about your spouse or partner and re-evaluate them. In this way you adjust your heart and mind to love them "despite" they are a new and different person. Just like you may accept them because they get pimples sometimes or you accept them because they have bad morning breath, now you need to mentally accept them because they have weaker moral fibre than you hoped or falsely believed. This will require a new way of dealing with them, but assess and accept you must.

3) Take pre-emptive action from now on.
Monitor their behaviour on the computer, monitor their mail and cell activity, monitor it all in secret and silence. Just like protecting an alcoholic from the bottle, you must be vigilant for a re-lapse.

Ultimately it is hard, but often, a break up is just not an option at the time of the infidelity. Work to keep them on the straight and narrow and after several years you may even find a new spark of love for the spouse.

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