Rebuilding After An Affair - 5 Ways You Can Survive An Affair

Rebuilding after an affair is no easy task. I know. I have been there and I can tell you that one of the hardest things to do is to get over the shock of a cheating spouse. Rebuilding trust and recovering from an affair takes time.

Surviving An Affair Takes Work

Images of a cheating spouse are not pretty. In fact,it takes a lot time and sheer willpower to overcome the feeling of being deceived and betrayed. It is common for the one who has been cheated on to ask "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why would she/he throw our relationship away?"

I can tell you that while it is important to ask yourself certain questions about the affair it is not healthy to constantly dwell on questions that you can't get answers to. Instead, make up your mind to practice trusting again and try to get a commitment from you partner to do the same.

How to Rebuild After An Affair

If you want to save your relationship you must rebuild trust. Here are some tips how:

1. Pinpoint the things that led to the affair. To really have a chance at recovering from infidelity, you and your partner must look at the thing or things that contributed to the cheating. For example, did the one who cheated put him or herself in the wrong place at the wrong time? Do either one of you have personal habits or issues that caused problem in the relationship?

2. The truth must be revealed. The plain and simple fact is that the one who committed the infidelity must acknowledge the mistake. Denying or blaming the spouse or someone else will not help.

3. Set boundaries around others. If you are in a social setting where others may flirt, if you have been cheated on, don't get clingy or suspicious. And if you did the cheating, bend over backwards to show that you are more than willing to win back his or her love and trust.

4. Asses where things stand in your relationship. Once you have identified what may have caused the affair you need to now take a good hard look at each person's attitude about the relationship. Perhaps one or both of you are bored, frustrated, irritated or simply desire more excitement. Or maybe one of you feel unappreciated or overwhelmed with responsibilities. Consider these issues and then work on them together.

5. Set realistic goals about the outcome. Figuring out how to survive an affair is very complicated and cannot be accomplished overnight or even within weeks. You must recognize that you both need time and some space to put everything into perspective.

Many couples have used some if not all of the above steps and report that they can see a positive difference in their relationship. There is no one perfect solution to overcoming the pain and hurt from an affair but with time and patience rebuilding after an affair is definitely possible.

Don't sit at home and mope about what happened. Get help and advice about Surviving An Affair

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