Every marriage survives on a set of dynamics, which are couple-specific. So much so, that an outsider would never know why a marriage ticks and why it does not. An affair is usually a fall out of some gross inter-personal conflict which has become temporarily unsolvable. Can a marriage survive an affair? The answer could be yes, if one goes by the past record of thousands of couples who have resolved the dispute areas in the marriage and have successfully moved on, living happily thereafter, so to speak. However, there are also couples who could not come to any mutually-agreeable solution to resolve the conflicts and have amicably parted ways.
Let us look at the problem in a positive note and find out how a marriage can survive an affair. The crux of the matter, most importantly, is whether the will to allow the marriage to survive is equally strong in both the partners. Are you prepared to forget and forgive your partner? This applies not only to the person who was involved in the affair but also the sufferer. Here are some tips to save the marriage even after it has suffered some indelible scars of an affair:
o Any reconciliation or resolution of an inter-personal conflict is possible only through frank and accusation-free interactions. Ideally, this should start as soon as you 'feel' that there is an entry of a third person in your marriage.
o Treat the affair as a wake-up call to sit up and do some disaster management to save a failing marriage. As mentioned, the first step is to start an open and frank dialogue with your spouse. If you do not listen what your spouse has to say, you can never get the right answer to your question: can a marriage survive an affair.
o If you still love your spouse, who admits to having had an affair, you should be prepared to forget and forgive so that you can move on. There is hardly any point in blaming or accusing your spouse for having done this to you - as the sheer fact that he or she has admitted to an affair is proof enough of admission of guilt. You do not have to rub it in further.
o If you are the one who had the affair, your responsibility is also to forgive your spouse for not 'meeting your expectations' in some way or the other and forget about the person with whom you had the affair. Can a marriage survive an affair? Yes, it can, provided you too lend a helping hand to save the marriage from further deterioration. You should also listen to whatever your spouse has to say and take corrective actions, if you want to save the marriage and re-build the lost trust. Rebuilding a marriage from scratch may take double the effort, but in the long run, it works, only if both of you share the responsibility hand-in-hand.
o After successful reconciliation, it is best not to broach the topic ever. Simply forget that such a situation ever arose in your life if you want to remove the tell-tale scars of an affair from your marriage.
o To make a marriage survive after an affair, you have to remember one basic fact. Your spouse may have slipped from his or her expected role of a faithful wife or a husband when he or she fell for someone else, but it has taken a tremendous amount of courage and willpower to come out of it. Give the due credit to your spouse - as he or she could only forego the affair, because of the implicit trust and faith your spouse has on you. Respect that and move on.
o Can a marriage survive an affair? Yes it can do so successfully, if you forget the past and bring back the lost romance in your relationship. Forget about all other priorities and focus whole-heartedly on your spouse to save the relationship from any further damage. Spend as much time as possible with each other and give everything else a break.
Hopefully you have been able to get the essence of the answer to your question can a marriage survive an affair. Finally, remember an affair can cause an unforgettable trauma and to put your marriage back on the track can take a lot of time, patience and understanding. Of course, lots and lots of love.
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